By Nnamdi Elekwachi
Amen? Amen!
So We Check Our Conscience at the Peristyle.
Today, many will go alleluiatic, will even shout down the vaulted church roof. I may or may not go to church but don’t just argue yet. Let us talk about how many, as regards the church, check their emotion and judgement at the peristyle or threshold of the church before entrance. These humans rather than step into the church with both minds elect to go with the “spiritual” mind frame alone checking their physical minds at the peristyle.
You see, to be a man is not easy! I once asked a reverend father friend how he stays away from phallic urge and his answer to me was not satisfactory, purely escapist. Each time I sit back and reflect over the the past, I realise that in a sense, more than 90% of our men have “raped” a woman at least once in their lives. Many of us have pulled down panties and underpants when the other partner is saying “no, no, no…” or could not exercise patience when she says “wait, wait, wait…”
You see, as an undergraduate, if a lady agrees to pay you a visit, you celebrate like a jubilant Didier Drogba who has just scored a spectacular goal. We had this friend whose room we called “Stanford Bridge” in the Mourinho days when Chelsea never lost a game at home because no girl came in without being “slaughtered”, even a debutant. A prurient friend was also nicknamed “10% man” or Ten Percenter” because he leisured in peeping and eaveadropping from other’s windows and doors when sensual or orgasmic moaning goes on… A good sex narrator and chronicler, he told absentee lodge mates how a girl screamed during the act. So we called him a “Ten Percenter” because he stole 10 percent of the fun from others’ windows and doors. I gave him that name too. http://www.bellsnews.com/politics/ossy-prestiges-thanksgiving-lights-up-the-town/
The society will get better when we treat sex and rape as human and not perceiving such from often blurred spiritual lens. I do not yet, even in my adult stage, understand the logic that sex is spiritual excercise exclusively reserved for the married and so on…. Then, I ask, as is often, “why do men, married and single, rise phallic every morning?”. Better we separate sex from spiritualism and its numerous warfare!
I once battled, in the mid 90s, fleshly urge with spiritualism. We were young dormitorians who believed that the power to cast and bind could stop us from wet dream. So a Catholic friend had gone for confession after each mortal failing. It went on until he gave up tired of confessing same sin for which he received the grace of absolution from a priest. When some of us did confess masturbation or wet dream, the priest nodded knowingly sometimes with an absently look. Why? He may be or have been battling the same issue. We felt wet dream had much to do with the marine spirit and spiritual world without the knowledge that as pubescents, we were phasing and passing through life and its stages and cycles. Certain mates, early risers, once used the bathroom longer than others did and we wondered why until we discovered that these guys who belonged to Scripture Union actually masturbated with soap before bathing, I mean soapy masturbation! It took a biology class teacher to explain away to us that what we battled was physical and carnal not spiritual–puberty! And for all the reasons, soiling our bedding was not unnatural. We are mortals as were our reverend priests!
To be a man is not easy, I say, and this should not mean, of necessity, any justification for rape. Men always are, as women too, under sexual urge, but to treat a man’s failing with a kid’s glove in the name of “touch not my anointed” is the greatest crime ever. So after asking your male neighbour or pastor how their night was also ask how their morning was or is because many morning moments are phallic as with men! Do spiritual men rise or wake differently? No, I say.
And before you remove those panties and underpants look into her eyes well. Some of us men will pull down, pressure and penetrate only to celebrate the aftermath with our guys after the “she” had gone in a pub. Like Didier Drogba, we celebrate having added to our caps!
A friend said “she said ‘stop, stop’,… and then started singing and moaning ‘o baby…harder, harder,…'” and he jocularly wanted to justify himself for forcing his way and I asked: “Did you stop?”. There is however that feeling of cuckodry when a lady leaves your room without proper consumation… That saying amongst a tryst of drinking men that “you f..k up”, or “you too dey dull” and so every man wants to be a sharp shooter like Rasheedi Yekini of old…
If you call her to come over also negotiate sex properly and tell her it is in your “want to do” so you don’t fall like my college mates. A mature girl should tell you if she wants sex or if she can afford it. And before you go into the church do not check your conscience at the peristyle go with both minds, physical and spiritual.
Uduak, my eye is doing me somehow somehow, I hope Uche understands this.
Amen?
Amen!
Aficionado, the wayfarer, has just gone for 6:30 Mass!